oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
