I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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