I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
