it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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