That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
