Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
