Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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