There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
