it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
