Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
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i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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