Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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