Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
