I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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