the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize