I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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