Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
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the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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