i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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