Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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