I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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