Ambien. No doubt about it.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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