I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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