I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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