My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
