You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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