i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
