somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
