i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I think your dad took our porno
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
