My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
