she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
