I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
