this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
