I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
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why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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