I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
