I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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