great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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