Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
