We're facebook friends in real life
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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