I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
