he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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