Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
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Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
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I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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