Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize