I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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