If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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