So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
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