3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
