She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Randomize
