video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
