Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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