she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize