Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
