he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
