Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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